He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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