Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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