I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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