did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize