Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize