I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
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Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
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I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
this is an emotional support booty call
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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