So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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