Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
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The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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