Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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