i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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