i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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