Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize