I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
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MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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