I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize