I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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