i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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