Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize