Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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