New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize