my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize