did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
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She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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