no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
do herpes really smell.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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