Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize