U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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