you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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