It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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