please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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