ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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