I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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