he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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