I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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