i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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