I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize