I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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