i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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