so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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