Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
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You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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