i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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