glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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