Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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