okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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