if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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