My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize