Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
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I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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