there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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