I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize