I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize