It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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