worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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