for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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