he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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