he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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