this just has baby written all over it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize